Anthony Bourdain killed himself exactly one week ago. He had decided that the commitments he made and the people in his life were better off without him. How fucking sad. I mean I get it, all of a sudden you're thrown into this dark hole, there's no foreseeable way to climb out. There's barely enough air to breathe, and your filled with nothing. Desperate to care about something but feeling numb. Feeling nothing. Wondering if all the hustle and bustle surrounding you, all the severe emotions will cut through this clear wall that's grown and let it all pour out. You want to scream, cry, genuinely laugh, hell even just smile but it takes so much out of you and there's barely anything left inside you to begin with so you stay in bed if you can help it. Sleep forever because that's the only time you're at peace. Those around you want to help but you don't want to be a burden, an empty sack they want to breathe life into again but they don't know you've tried. You've tried and tried again to find the puncture wound that's drained you to plug it up but you can't find it, you have no plug. You try so hard to go out and have fun but you just become a downer. Your friends and family don't need that. They don't deserve that.
Here's the thing. I don't feel this way anymore, some days are better than others granted. But I know there's a light now. I can't always feel the warmth but it will come. The sun always rises to awake you from the slumber. It's rough, and it's sad that someone who lived life to the absolute fullest couldn't see that. But apparently Anthony Bourdain thought it was his time, and maybe it was, fuck who am I to say? He will be missed and will live on forever through Parts Unknown