Instability

I thought I finally had a place, my place. We we're just starting to get settled in to this place. We still haven't even gotten rid of all our old roommates shit. All of our extra shit. And it looks like we're going to have to give even more stuff away.

I've dedicated so much time and money and energy into making this place mine.

And now it's gone.

It's not worth to continue renting out, it's $30,000 to replace the septic tank, they have to sell.

I'm so scared. I don't know how long we have... they never told us, but I know we don't have the money or the friends to find another place like this. This is not the bad news I expected. I was in such a bubble of bliss.

Bitch the bubble has popped. God I'm so scared.

I need to keep my head to the ground, I need to start looking. I'm not going to be able to sleep or stop stress eating until I do. All I want to do is cry.

Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. 

I'm so tired of moving. I haven't even finished moving into this house.

God this sucks.

I just want to buy a plot of land. Just something that's mine, ours even. I can keep an RV on it I can keep a fucking tent on it. Just something that can't be taken from me. Something stable.

I better start packing.